Does Gratitude Make You a Better Leader?
Negativity and fearfulness can be paralyzing for anyone, but especially for those in positions of leadership. When we are not grateful in the present moment, it is highly unlikely that we will be able to view the future with hope and excitement.
Approaching our work from a place of gratitude enables us to be forward-thinking leaders, to be inspired to take risks, to innovate, and to dream about the future. Brené Brown writes that “practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there’s enough and that we’re enough.” When we know there is enough and that we are enough, we have the strength to carry that assurance into the future. Viewing the present through the lens of gratitude equips us to see the future through the lens of hope.
In his memoir, A Simple Act of Gratitude: How Learning to Say Thank You Changed My Life, attorney John Kralik tells the story of how at the lowest point in his life he decided to write one thank you card per day for an entire year. After he sent cards to all his friends, family, and coworkers, he still had hundreds left to write. So, he began to search each day for at least one person to whom he was grateful and then to express that thanks to them in writing. He wrote notes to a neighbor who returned a $10 bill he’d dropped, to a court clerk who impressed him with her professionalism, to his daughter’s teacher, to his hairdresser, to a barista, and to many others. By the end of the book, he is thoroughly transformed by approaching each day, each interaction with others, with an attitude of gratitude.
As impactful as writing 365 thank you notes could be, something this extreme isn’t necessary for us to be transformed by approaching each day with gratitude. Just changing our perspective on our everyday lives can have a major impact not just on us, but on our families, coworkers, donors, clients, patients, neighbors, and even complete strangers. If enough of us approach our work that way, it may even change the entire culture and approach of the institutions we serve.
After all, when we are thankful to be a part of fulfilling our shared mission, for what others bring to the work and for small (and big!) “wins” each day, for the difference we are making in the community and the world, we cannot help but be more motivated to serve our organizations with passion, dedication, and imagination.
Each of us can begin to take on this attitude of gratitude by first looking in the mirror. What am I grateful for about what I have to offer, about who I am? How am I uniquely equipped for the various roles I play in life? How is the world a better place because I am in it? When I can express gratitude for myself, my sense of intrinsic personal value and inner strength increase exponentially. It is then that it becomes easier for me to recognize that same value and strength in others.
The Dalai Lama once said, “When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others.” After all, what is more respectful toward others than being thankful for who they are and that they are a part of my life? Being thankful for others fights off my tendency to view relationships as simply being a series of transactions. It reminds me that other people do not exist to serve my purposes, and it allows me to be more empathetic in my responses to them. Gratitude fosters healthier, more reciprocal relationships. Who doesn’t want that?
Being intentionally grateful for ourselves, others, our work, and so much else can also have a profound impact on our overall health and on the health of others. According to Psychology Today, “People who are grateful feel less pain, less stress, suffer insomnia less, have stronger immune systems, experience healthier relationships, and do better academically and professionally” and are “less likely to have mental health problems like depression.”
It is much harder to feel as though all hope is lost if, even in the most difficult of circumstances, we are searching for something for which we can be thankful. It is not uncommon for counselors, therapists, and coaches to have their clients keep a gratitude journal to help them to escape the vicious cycle of negative and fearful thoughts and actions that plague them.
Having an attitude of gratitude really is about how we see the world. Have you ever watched videos of when colorblind people are handed a pair of glasses that enable them to see colors for the first time? When they first put them on, they look around in awe. Wow! This is what others can see all the time? Then they almost always begin to cry. They had no idea how beautiful the world was and now that they know, they are overwhelmed and touched deeply by it. In reality, nothing has changed about the trees or flowers or birds or the people surrounding them. They are all the same colors they were the second before the person put on the glasses. What has changed, however, is the person’s ability to see the beauty that was there all along.
This is what living with an attitude of gratitude does for us. It doesn’t necessarily change the circumstances we find ourselves in (although it often can). Rather, it enables us to see the good, the uniqueness, and the hope that has been around us, as well as within us, all along. Wow! What a beautiful way to view the world!
