What I Didn't Know About Success Part II

Our habits either set us up for success or undermine our efforts in everything. This wisdom became crystal clear to me as I participated in the Habit Finder Coaching Program with Joe Rangel, founder of 2EvolveCoaching and BG Consulting Vice President.

Following is Part Two of June’s NewsBite article which explores how our habits can enhance or hinder our relationships and our success.

Management is not leadership. Management is about directing the here and now…what needs to accomplished today, this week, this quarter? This is what new managers think their job is. But as retired Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper said, “You manage things. You lead people.”

Moving from manager to leader requires the trust of your team. Do they trust that you have a vision for the department/organization? Do they trust that you have their best interests at heart? A leader who is willing to learn to be authentic and a leader who cares about their team earns this trust, helping the team members become “owners” of the vision, not just “renters.” That is when you begin to get the very best thinking and behavior from your team and its individual members. 

So many new managers are promoted because they are the best at doing the job. Often, very little investment is made in helping them to move from being the doer to the manager and then the leader. Coaching can bridge that gap, be it from a fellow experienced manager and leader within the organization, or an outside coach. 

As Kathi Warren, Vice President of Development and Alumni Relations at Rice University in Houston, Texas said to me, “Coaching helped me bring my authentic self to my role, without fear of being judged for being who I really am.” That transparency is so critical in building the trust with your team to embrace the ownership of their piece of the goal. 

Leaders understand the importance of timing and Emotional Intelligence, or EQ. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. A new idea or direction, presented at the wrong time, will have very little chance of success. Leaders with high EQ are aware of not only their own emotions, but also the emotions of those around them. They are able to assess the “feel” of the person, team, or organization, and tailor their timing, tone, and approach to allow their audience to be best able to receive the message. 

When I spoke with Karley Eldridge, Assistant Director of Advancement Careers at University of Alabama at Birmingham, she agreed. “Your habits create a powerful impression on others, which shapes their perception of you almost immediately.” She said that coaching can help people see that even the smallest actions send messages about you, your work, and your attitude. Coaching can work much like holding up a mirror so you can see what others see. The first step to change is recognizing the opportunity. 

As one learns true leadership, the distinction between self-confidence and arrogance becomes evident, as does the fact that true self-confidence includes a huge dose of humility. Self-confidence also allows one the freedom to be authentic, rather than working on a pretense of perfection. The best leaders always see themselves on a journey, rather than as leader who has “arrived.” On this subject, Matt McBurnie, Vice President of Institutional Advancement at Riverside Medical Center in Kankakee, Illinois responded, “I was shocked! I had led teams for years. I thought I exuded confidence. But, I lead differently now.  I lead with confidence in my core values.” His team tells him that they have seen a difference. Matt goes on to say, “Employees are seeking to follow people that truly value them for who they are, not just the skills they bring.” He believes that the previous style of traditional “because-I-said-so” management will no longer keep your best employees. They are looking to be valued, not just compensated. 

Leadership is so much more than management. The best leaders value people, are not afraid to show their authentic self, and continue to invest in learning about how to lead for the greatest and most positive impact on others, both inside and outside of their organization.